Saver vs. Spender: How to Manage Different Financial Habits As a Couple

Admin • February 16, 2024

You’re probably familiar with the saying, “Friendship and money don’t mix.” When you complicate friendships with money, many believe nothing good can come from it. 

What about love and money? 

According to a recent survey , financial stress is one of the top reasons that marriages fail and couples divorce. Often, opposite attitudes about money or differing financial priorities and goals can lead to arguments and potential rifts in a relationship. Financial incompatibility can be a dealbreaker in a relationship, and it can seem impossible to find common ground over money matters.

Fortunately, there are a few practical strategies to bridge the gap between different financial habits. By fostering understanding, communication, and shared goals, couples can work together to create good financial habits that help them build a more financially secure and fulfilling future.

Understanding Your Financial Personality and Habits

Different financial personalities have different, distinct financial habits. 

Some people are savers, who find security and stability in accumulating savings for the future. Others are spenders, who embrace the joy of instant gratification in the present. Identifying your own financial personality (and that of your partner) is essential to understanding your money mindset and the potential areas of friction in your relationship.

Upbringing and personal experiences can have a significant influence on financial habits. Perhaps you or your partner were raised in a family that had a conservative approach to money management, and this led you to become a natural saver. Or, perhaps your (or your partner’s) family had a more relaxed attitude toward money, and you tend to spend more liberally. 

Recognizing the roots that have influenced your financial habits can help you have a deeper understanding of your and your partner’s perspective on finances.

By distinguishing your strengths and weaknesses (and those of your partner), you can engage in more meaningful conversations on financial habits and how to find a balanced approach to money management.

Find Common Ground

As a couple, you can identify shared financial goals and aspirations you both have. Even though you have different financial habits, there are likely overall objectives that you can both rally behind and work together to achieve.

You and your partner may need to compromise on some issues to accommodate your different financial habits. But if you acknowledge each other’s priorities and meet in the middle, you can create a financial plan that aligns with your shared values. 

Finding common ground creates a partnership in managing your finances, and you can share a sense of accomplishment as you reach your goals, strengthening your relationship. The journey can be just as important as the destination.

Set a Budget to Work Towards Your Shared Goals

Creating a joint budget is a great way to align financial habits and combine finances in your relationship. By merging your income, expenses, and savings goals, you’ll have a complete picture of your shared financial situation. This can help you establish a unified approach to money management so that you can make informed decisions together. 

How you allocate funds in your joint budget should reflect both your and your partner’s priorities: discuss and agree on how much income should be dedicated to savings, discretionary spending, and shared expenses. A thoughtful, well-structured budget ensures that both you and your partner contribute to and benefit from your financial plan.

Set short-term and long-term financial objectives together, which can act as a roadmap for achieving your shared goals. Do you want to pay off debt? Do you want to save for a home or vacation? Do you want to boost your retirement savings or investment accounts to prepare for the future? By planning as a couple, you can encourage shared accountability and responsibility for financial success.

Remember to be flexible in your financial plan—unexpected expenses or changes in income can happen. Life’s curveballs may require you and your partner to revisit and adjust your budget and financial plan. Adapt as needed, but stay committed to your overall shared financial goals.

Prioritize Communication and Trust

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship—make sure you and your partner can always talk freely to each other about finances, so that you both feel heard and understood.

Conversations about financial habits and money management can be sensitive, but encouraging communication builds trust and creates a solid foundation for tackling any financial challenges together. Have regular check-ins on your financial journey with your partner to make sure you both stay on the same page: address any concerns, revisit your goals, and adjust your financial strategies as needed. 

Celebrate Financial Milestones Together

Every financial achievement, whether big or small, deserves recognition. Celebrate reaching your financial goals together—consistently sticking to a budget, paying off debt, buying a home, hitting a target in your savings or investment accounts. Take a moment to acknowledge milestones and share in the successes of your financial journey.

Commemorate reaching financial milestones: maybe it’s a special date night, a mini-vacation, or a joint purchase. Celebrating together strengthens your relationship and reminds you both that your financial journey together is not only about reaching the destination, but also about cherishing the memorable moments along the way.

Build a Strong Financial Foundation Together

Managing different financial habits can be complicated, and you may sometimes feel that you and your partner can’t seem to meet in the middle when it comes to money management. It can be helpful to seek out the expertise of a financial advisor, who can look beyond your individual financial personalities and find that common ground. 

Financial advisors can act as an objective guide to encourage you and your partner to communicate and be open to compromises. Their knowledge and experience can help you both navigate challenges, make decisions, and build a solid financial foundation for your future together. 

At Five Pine Wealth Management , we can work with you and your partner to create a roadmap to financial success. We’ll focus on your short and long-term goals to help you develop a comprehensive financial plan that takes into account all aspects of your shared life together. 

And as fiduciary financial advisors , we’ll always be committed to what’s in your best interests. To see how we can help, email us or contact us at: 877.333.1015. We’re here to help you and your partner, every step in your journey together.

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Rebuilding Wealth After Divorce: A Complete Guide to Your Financial Fresh Start

November 21, 2025
Key Takeaways Divorced spouses married 10+ years can claim Social Security benefits based on their ex’s record without reducing anyone else's benefits. Splitting retirement accounts requires specific legal documents (QDROs for 401(k)s) drafted precisely to your plan's requirements. Investment properties and taxable accounts carry hidden tax liabilities that significantly reduce their actual value. No one gets married planning for divorce. Yet here you are, facing a fresh financial start you never wanted. Maybe you’re 43 with two kids and suddenly managing on your own. Or you’re 56, staring down retirement in a decade, wondering how you’ll catch up after splitting assets down the middle. We get it. Divorce is brutal, emotionally and financially. And the financial piece often feels overwhelming when you're still processing everything else. According to research , women's household income drops by an average of 41% after divorce, while men's falls by about 23%. Those aren't just statistics. They're the reality many of our clients face when they first come to us. But here's something we've seen time and again: While you can't control what happened, you absolutely can control what happens next. Financial planning after divorce isn't just damage control. With the right approach, it can be the beginning of a more intentional and empowered relationship with your money. Here’s how to get there: First, Understand What You’re Working With Before you can move forward, you need a clear picture of your current financial situation. Start by gathering every financial document related to your divorce settlement: property division agreements, retirement account splits, alimony or child support arrangements, and any debt you’re responsible for. Then create a simple inventory: What you have: Bank account balances Investment and retirement accounts Home equity Expected alimony or child support income What you owe: Mortgage or rent obligations Credit card debt Car loans Student loans This baseline gives you something concrete to work with. You can't build a plan without knowing where you're starting from. Social Security Benefits for Divorced Spouses This one surprises people. If you were married for at least 10 years, you may be entitled to benefits based on your ex-spouse's work record, even if they've remarried. You can claim benefits based on your ex’s record if: Your marriage lasted 10+ years You’re currently unmarried You’re 62+ years old Your ex-spouse is eligible for Social Security benefits The benefit you can receive is up to 50% of your ex-spouse’s full retirement benefit if you wait until full retirement age to claim. Importantly, claiming benefits on your ex’s record doesn’t reduce their benefits or their current spouse’s benefits. If you’re eligible for both your own benefits and your ex’s, Social Security will automatically pay whichever amount is higher. What About Splitting Retirement Accounts in Divorce? Retirement accounts often represent one of the largest assets in a divorce settlement. Understanding how to handle the division properly can save you thousands in taxes and penalties. The QDRO Process For 401(k)s and most employer-sponsored retirement plans, you’ll need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). This legal document outlines the plan administrator's instructions for splitting the account without triggering early withdrawal penalties. QDROs must be drafted precisely according to both your divorce decree and the specific plan’s rules and requirements. We’ve seen clients lose thousands of dollars because their QDRO wasn’t accepted and had to be redrafted. Work with an attorney who specializes in QDROs. The upfront cost will be worth it to avoid expensive problems later. What About IRAs? Traditional and Roth IRAs can be split through your divorce decree without a QDRO. The transfer must be made directly from one IRA to another (not withdrawn or deposited) to avoid taxes and penalties. Tax Implications to Consider When you receive retirement assets in a divorce, you’re getting the account value and its future tax liability. A $200k traditional 401(k) isn’t worth the same as $200k in a Roth IRA or home equity, because of the different tax treatments. Many settlements divide assets dollar-for-dollar without considering how those dollars are taxed, so make sure yours addresses these differences. Dividing Investment Properties and Taxable Accounts Retirement accounts aren’t the only assets that require careful handling. If you own real estate investments or taxable brokerage accounts, the way you divide them matters. The Capital Gains Dilemma Let’s say you own a rental property purchased for $200k and is now worth $400k. Selling it as part of the divorce triggers capital gains tax on that gain, potentially $30,000-$60,000, depending on your tax bracket. Some couples avoid this by having one spouse keep the property and buy out the other’s share. This defers the tax hit, but you’ll want to ensure the buyout price accounts for future tax liability. Taxable Investment Accounts Brokerage accounts can be divided without triggering taxes if you transfer shares directly rather than selling and splitting proceeds. However, not all shares are equal from a tax perspective. Smart divorce settlements account for the cost basis of investments. These decisions require coordination between your divorce attorney, a CPA who understands divorce taxation, and a financial advisor who can model different scenarios. We remember a client whose settlement gave her a rental property “worth” $350,000. But the $80,000 in deferred capital gains owed when selling wasn’t accounted for. She effectively received $270,000 in value, not $350,000, a massive difference in her actual financial position. Building Your New Budget and Savings Strategy Living on one income after years of two requires adjustment. Start with your new essential expenses: housing, utilities, groceries, transportation, insurance, and any child-related costs. Then look at what’s left: this is where you begin rebuilding your financial cushion. Rebuilding Your Emergency Fund If you had to split or use your emergency savings during the divorce, rebuilding should be your first priority. Aim for at least three months of expenses, then work toward six months. Even $100 a month adds up to $1,200 each year. Maximize Retirement Contributions This feels counterintuitive when money is tight, but if your employer offers a 401(k) match, contribute at least enough to get a full match. Otherwise, you’re leaving free money on the table. If you’re over 50, take advantage of catch-up contributions. For 2025, you can contribute up to $23,500 to a 401(k), plus an additional $7,500 in catch-up contributions. If you're between 60-63, that catch-up increases to $11,250. Address Debt Strategically Post-divorce debt looks different for everyone. If you accumulated credit card debt while covering legal fees or temporary living expenses during divorce proceedings, prioritize paying these off once your settlement funds are available. Updating Your Estate Documents Updating beneficiaries and estate documents, a critical step, is sometimes overlooked. Check beneficiaries on: Life insurance policies Retirement accounts Bank accounts with payable-on-death designations Investment accounts Beneficiary designations override what’s in your will. We’ve seen ex-spouses receive retirement assets years after a divorce simply because the account owner failed to update beneficiaries. Address your will, healthcare power of attorney, and financial power of attorney, too. You're Not Starting from Zero Rebuilding wealth after divorce is about creating a financial foundation that supports the life you want to build moving forward. You have experience, earning potential, and time. It’s not a matter of if you can rebuild, but how efficiently you’ll do it. If you’re navigating financial planning after divorce, we can help. At Five Pine Wealth Management, we work with clients through major life transitions, creating practical strategies tailored to your specific situation. Call us at 877.333.1015 or email info@fivepinewealth.com to schedule a conversation. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) Q: Will I lose my ex-spouse's Social Security benefits if I remarry? A: Yes. Once you remarry, you can no longer collect your ex-spouse’s benefits. However, if your new marriage ends, you may claim benefits based on whichever ex-spouse's record is higher. Q: How long after divorce should I wait before making major financial decisions? A: Most advisors recommend waiting 6-12 months before making irreversible decisions like selling your home or making large investments. Focus first on understanding your new financial situation and letting the emotional dust settle. Q: Should I keep the house or take more retirement assets in the settlement?  A: This depends on your specific situation, but remember: houses have ongoing costs like property taxes, insurance, maintenance, and utilities that retirement accounts don't. We help clients run scenarios comparing both options, factoring in everything from cash flow needs to long-term growth potential, before deciding what makes sense for their situation.

401(k) Millionaire: Proven Strategies to Reach 7 Figures in Your Retirement Account

October 17, 2025
Key Takeaways Maxing out your employer match provides an immediate 50-100% return and is the easiest way to accelerate your 401(k) growth. Reaching $1 million in your 401(k) depends more on consistent contributions over time than on being the highest earner or picking winning investments. High earners can potentially contribute up to $70,000 annually through a mega backdoor Roth conversion if their employer plan allows after-tax contributions. Hitting seven figures in your 401(k) might sound like a pipe dream, but it's more achievable than you think. With the right 401(k) investment strategies and a disciplined approach, becoming a 401(k) millionaire is within reach for many mid-career professionals. Let's walk through exactly how you can get there. The Math Behind Becoming a 401(k) Millionaire Before we discuss strategies, let's look at the numbers. Understanding the math helps you see that reaching $1 million isn't about getting lucky — it's about time, consistency, and thoughtful planning. Starting Age Annual Contribution Balance at 65* 30 $15,000 $1.5 million 30 $20,000 $2 million 40 $25,000 $1.3 million *Assumes 7% average annual return Time matters, but it's never too late to build substantial wealth if you're willing to prioritize your retirement savings. 7 Steps to Build Your 401(k) to Seven Figures Now that you understand the math, let's break down the specific strategies that will get you there. Step 1: Max Out Your Employer Match (The Easiest Money You'll Ever Make) If your employer offers a 401(k) match, contributing enough to capture it fully is the absolute first step: it’s free money that provides an immediate 50-100% return on your investment. Let's say your employer matches 50% of your contributions up to 6% of your salary. If you earn $150,000 and contribute $9,000 (6% of your salary), your employer adds $4,500. That's a guaranteed 50% return before your money even hits the market. Not taking full advantage of an employer match is like turning down a raise. Make sure you're contributing at least enough to capture every dollar your employer offers. Step 2: Gradually Increase Your Contribution Rate Once you've secured your employer match, the next step is increasing your personal contribution rate over time. For 2025, the 401(k) contribution limit is $23,500 (or $31,000 if you're 50 or older with catch-up contributions). Here's a practical approach: Every time you get a raise or bonus, direct at least half toward your 401(k). If you get a 4% raise, bump your contribution by 2%. Many plans now offer automatic annual increases. If yours does, set it to increase your contribution by 1-2% annually until you hit the maximum. You'll barely notice the change, but your future self will thank you. Step 3: Master Tax-Advantaged Retirement Accounts Through Strategic Contributions Traditional 401(k) contributions reduce your taxable income now, which is ideal if you're in a high tax bracket today. Roth 401(k) contributions don't reduce current taxes, but withdrawals in retirement are tax-free — valuable if you're earlier in your career or expect a higher income later. A hybrid approach works for many of our clients. Step 4: Optimize Your 401(k) Investment Strategies Your contribution rate matters, but so does what you're investing in. We regularly see clients who contribute aggressively but choose overly conservative investments that don't provide enough growth. Keep costs low . Target-date funds and index funds typically offer the lowest expense ratios. Every 0.5% in fees you avoid can add tens of thousands to your retirement balance over 30 years. Rebalance annually . Market movements throw your allocation off balance. Set a reminder once a year to review and rebalance your portfolio back to your target allocation. Avoid the temptation to chase performance . Last year's top-performing fund is rarely this year's winner. Stick with broadly diversified, low-cost options. Step 5: Consider a Mega Backdoor Roth Conversion If you're a high earner who's already maxing out regular 401(k) contributions, a mega backdoor Roth conversion can accelerate your retirement savings. Here's how it works: Some employer plans allow after-tax contributions beyond the standard $23,500 limit. The total contribution limit for 2025 (including employer contributions and after-tax contributions) is $70,000 ($77,500 if you're 50+). If your plan permits, you can make after-tax contributions up to that limit, then immediately convert those contributions to a Roth 401(k) or roll them into a Roth IRA. This gives you tax-free growth on substantially more money than the regular contribution limits allow. Not all plans offer this option, and the rules can be complex. Check with your HR department to see if your plan allows after-tax contributions and in-plan Roth conversions or rollovers. Step 6: Avoid These Common 401(k) Mistakes Even with great 401(k) investment strategies, mistakes can derail your progress toward seven figures. Avoid: Taking loans from your 401(k) . While it might seem convenient, you're robbing yourself of compound growth. The money you borrow stops working for you, and you're paying yourself back with after-tax dollars. Cashing out when changing jobs . Rolling over your 401(k) to your new employer's plan or an IRA allows your money to continue growing tax-deferred. Cashing out triggers taxes and penalties that can set you back years. Panic selling during market downturns . Market volatility is normal. The clients who reach $1 million are those who stay invested through ups and downs, not those who try to time the market. Step 7: Stay Consistent (Even When It's Boring) The path to becoming a 401(k) millionaire isn't exciting (and that’s a good thing!). The most successful savers aren't those who constantly tweak their strategy or chase the latest investment trend. They're the ones who set up automatic contributions, review their allocation once a year, and otherwise leave their 401(k) alone. Let Five Pine Help You Build Your Million-Dollar Plan Reaching $1 million in your 401(k) is absolutely achievable with the right strategy and discipline. Whether you're just starting your career or playing catch-up in your 40s and 50s, the steps remain the same: maximize contributions, optimize your investments, take advantage of tax-advantaged retirement accounts, and stay consistent. At Five Pine Wealth Management , we help clients build comprehensive retirement strategies that go beyond just their 401(k). We can analyze your current contributions, recommend optimal allocation strategies, and help you coordinate your employer plan with other retirement accounts. Want to see what your path to seven figures looks like? We help clients build these roadmaps every day. Email us at info@fivepinewealth.com or give us a call at 877.333.1015. Let's talk about your specific situation. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) Q: Should I prioritize maxing out my 401(k) or paying off debt first? A: Start by contributing enough to capture your full employer match — that's an immediate 50-100% return you can't get anywhere else. Beyond that, prioritize high-interest debt (credit cards, personal loans) since those interest rates typically exceed investment returns. Q: Should I stop contributing during market downturns to avoid losses? A: No — continuing to contribute during downturns is actually one of the best strategies for building wealth. When prices are lower, your contributions buy more shares, setting you up for greater gains when the market recovers. Q: I'm 55 with only $300K saved. Is it too late to reach $1 million?  A : While reaching exactly $1 million by 65 might be challenging, you can still build substantial wealth. Maxing out contributions, including catch-up ($31,000/year), could get you to $750K-$850K depending on returns. Disclaimer: This is not tax or investment advice. Individuals should consult with a qualified professional for recommendations appropriate to their specific situation.